Earning a ‘B’

Her skin holds the same golden glow as

A Sicilian afternoon spent caressing ancient pillars

Of that Grecian temple in the Valle dei Templi…

Such a long walk outside Agrigento…

Such a long time ago…

 

My hands leisurely traced the contours of her frame

And, remembered those once rough columns;

Now, worn into a

Smooth,

Golden

Stone,

From centuries of similar souls’ persistent petting.

My lips viscerally reminiscing as I brushed them across her rib cage.

Losing myself in her body’s warmth,

Triggered a muscle memory

That took me the rest of this day

To accurately place.

 

And this day…this decadence…

Delivered such a very different setting from the memory overlaid.

The confusion confounded my internal compass and,

Disoriented my attachment’s intention.

I had to take a breath and look away,

Seeking the grounding found in my bedroom window’s view.

I was called to the comforting gun metal gray beyond her honeyed terrain,

The rain pulled me back from capitulation,

“stay with yourself”, my goddess whispered…

 

And I do hear her…but…

Ohhhh…

To have the kind of time it would take

To properly explore this enticing topography,

To let my fingers linger and learn the outline of her form,

To just simmer in this late summer-like light endlessly,

Adrift in her scent,

Savoring sounds elicited from our playful respite…

 

I’d been thinking on this as I watched her peel off her last layer.

As she stood before me,

An image of Adonis came to mind.

Her bold, boyish femininity securing my awe-inspired silence.

She would tempt me eternally with her eyes alone;

Big pools of earthen cathedral-like light.

 

How fitting to find myself transported,

Once immersed in her Libran energy;

Taken to a temple constructed explicitly for Harmonia;

Two Grecian goddesses connected across outstretched tendrils;

Leaving me floating, lost amongst

Time’s elusive trappings.

 

And I will, at some point, lose her to her own preferred partner’s love.

I respect and expect it.

In fact, the greatest gift she has given me,

Far beyond any hedonistic distractions,

Is these lessons in a love that remains unmerged.

Feeling both her presence and her retreat,

She initiates me with kindness and sass,

Acceptance, and expectations

That I will meet her there;

On the divide,

Gently,

Wholeheartedly.

Her conviction accelerates the healing

Of my long-vertiginous heart,

So bitterly bruised by a now ancient abuse of trust and hope.

She stays so patient with my anguished ongoing confessional,

Perhaps, in part, because of the ways I insist on filling her belly

First, with richly crafted creations others could not endure

And then, with deep laughter;

Her unscripted reaction to the comedy of my most recent carnal crusades;

A modern day daughter of Ares and Aphrodite, indeed.

 

My lover seems to feel how I can feel it coming,

The necessary loss present in each mischievous second together.

I feel the soothing in her hands stroking my hair.

And, see it in the soft corners of her smile.

So familiar to me, this place…

Perpetually practicing both hello and goodbye,

With the requisite gray worldview inspiring

Incantations of intimacy, ultimately,

With Self…

A healthy detachment from Harmonia,

As the sense of being adrift recedes

And reality resurfaces.

 

And so now, hours after her departure,

I let myself sink into the full experience of our affair.

I am left to release the remnants of today into written reflection

And, realign my attachment to her offerings more appropriately;

Allowing myself to place the golden stone sweetness

In the past

And, adore my parking lot girl

With levity,

As a present,

For this present moment

Alone.

 

xoT

~healthy love heals~